Awakenings
Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
By Lady Alchymia
Reviews
brad posted a comment on Wednesday 11th June 2008 8:15pm for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
Just reading your reply to an earlier review:
>>>>>>>>>
When I originally dreamed up a HP plot featuring jealousy as having dark consequences, I'd only read the first five books, and so I'd only seen Rowling depicting jealousy in a negative way, and I (rather foolishly as it turned out lol) extrapolated on that idea, not realising that Rowling was just teasing me, that she would go on to actually wholeheartedly endorse ongoing jealousy as a normal way of conducting a happy-ending romance.
>>>>>>>>>>>
Do you actually *accept* the revised Rowling model of love? That "ongoing jealousy [is] a normal way of conducting a happy-ending romance"? 'Cause that's one of the things that blew canon for me and one of the reasons why I detest canon's H/G pairing. Compounded by Rowling's continual efforts in her interviews to brainwash her readers into accepting it :-(.
I can't see any way how 'ongoing jealousy' could be a component of a successful romance, particularly one between - pfah! - 'soul mates'. Jealousy implies a lack of trust, full stop. Or maybe you can condone the green monster's presence only in the intermediary stages of a 'happy-ending' romance, but not in the actual final end product itself? Just curious.
Anyway I'm far happier with your original interpretation of jealousy as a negative emotion, and I frankly can't see many people arguing with that. Cheers.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Do I accept jealousy as a good way of conducting a happy-ending romance? No, but I think it is realistic for people who are insecure to suffer from jealousy. But I don't think jealousy is love. I think if that's where characters start then they need to grow beyond that for me to buy into the idea that they actually fall in love with each other.
Rest assured, I don't look on jealousy favourably, and you can look forward to that not changing in V2.
Kindly,
Lady A
brad posted a comment on Wednesday 11th June 2008 8:07pm for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
The 'Michael' here is Michael Corner, yes? A few chapters back Harry was concerned that he and Cho were still an item, but that thought seems to have fled his mind lately :-). I'm surprised Michael hasn't said something, or reacted in some way? Maybe I missed it.
More teenage fun with the chase around the kitchen, it's all good stuff.
I'm glad to have Elizabeth finally enter the picture; the teasing references to her before was getting me a little antsy. I'm keen to read of her reaction upon discovering that Harry had no idea as to her existence. Nice twist how Harry's impersonal letter is enough to allow her to initiate contact. And we have the entrance of Evil!! I love that name.
Great font you've used for Harry's letters, by the way; I don't think I've seen a fanfic ever go to that trouble before. Hmm. That's weird. Here on firefox I can't see any difference in fonts at all. But when I copy-and-paste into an OpenOffice document - which is what I did to print these chapters - they come out nicely different. Weird.
Looking forward to seeing this new addition to Harry's family!
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi Brad,
Regarding Michael Corner: yes, he's the one Ginny said Cho was dating at the end of OOTP. In the first version, I went to pains to document that Cho and Michael didn't last, and really, it was just me being timid, and feeling a need to rationalise every setup. When I looked at it again in V2, I realised that while readers might care to receive the rationalisation, Harry didn't. Cho was flirting with him and she didn't seem to be with Corner any more, and that was enough for him. (So, no, you didn't miss it.)
With V1, I didn't write with any real authority until I hit Black Island (with a setting and plot line that was completely mine). In writing V2, I made a conscious choice to turf things that were pure rationalisation. And this was most marked with Elizabeth, of course. In V2 she's just there, bam, no explanation until she is ready to come on stage and do something that advances the plot, which of course we get in this chapter when after Harry's nightmare we have Elizabeth revealing information about the risks associated with breaking Harry's sanctuary. I'm really pleased you liked how Harry's original letter to Madam Ramsay triggered the option to contact him. Not only was it way simpler and shorter than the first version, it was kind of fun getting her drunk.
Thanks about Harry's font! "Comic sans MS".
Many thanks for such detailed feedback!
Lady A
Patches posted a comment on Tuesday 15th January 2008 9:07pm for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
A very good eye opener for Harry about girls. Especially Cho. Jealousy is a terrible emotion. It can kill love and I think Harry is starting to see that. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. pms
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thank you very much indeed! I'm glad we see jealousy the same way LoL.
Jo Rowling does seem to send out some strong and sometimes conflicting messages above love, going to pains to point out that you can't drug someone into loving you, and she also makes very strict distinctions in the qualities of higher love. For example, she distinguishes between James giving his life for his family (as a reflexive, animalistic response -- something any animal would do for its young), whereas Lily's sacrifice was true love. I'm not sure I buy that distinction (and I suspect that Jo doesn't really either); she's even so much as admitted in interviews that Lily's choice was just as much a biological imperative as James' (she says now that she doesn’t believe any mother would choose to stand aside). And yet it is a very crucial distinction for her to cling to for her plot to work (to avoid the natural challenge from readers saying that every selfless sacrifice should deflect a killing curse).
I seem to have gotten off the point LOL ...
When I originally dreamed up a HP plot featuring jealousy as having dark consequences, I'd only read the first five books, and so I'd only seen Rowling depicting jealousy in a negative way, and I (rather foolishly as it turned out lol) extrapolated on that idea, not realising that Rowling was just teasing me, that she would go on to actually wholeheartedly endorse ongoing jealousy as a normal way of conducting a happy-ending romance. Anyway, in choosing Cho, I was looking for a girl for Harry with whom he could fall in love hard and fast over the course of just one weekend, and that she could feel just as strongly in return. Despite readers not liking Cho, with all Cho and Harry's backstory, she fit the bill perfectly for the story I wanted to tell. As for where the story is going (you probably already know lol), but I hope you’ll enjoy the ride anyway :).
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Lady A
Erik Wiggins posted a comment on Tuesday 8th January 2008 8:40pm for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
I love this story, I love the characters. I've been a fan of yours since way before you joined Fanficauthors.net. I will not be a spoiler, but when will you post the other chapters you have already written? I am dying to finish this story although, I will be depressed when it is finally done. Thank you for allowing me to live in your world, if only a moment. Your writing is so compelling and the characters have depth and personality and a life of their own. You are the magic that makes this work.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Oh, Erik. You just made my day :). Thank you so much for your all your encouragement!
On the next few chapters, I'm happy to say that they're pretty much ready to go, I just need to jump ahead to make sure I've covered all the clues that need to be there before I post. I do hope to get chapter 10 out very soon.
Many thanks!
Lady A
beauty01021 posted a comment on Tuesday 8th January 2008 12:56pm for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
yeah great chapter can't wait for more so please update again and soon.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thanks very much!
Lady A
jakjakattk posted a comment on Tuesday 8th January 2008 12:40pm for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
Morriganscros has a great point about Tonks, but I have to say that Harry needs to get over the physical thing first and get to the people that could truly make him happy. I really have to wonder where Harry’s relationship with Natalie is going to go.
Lady Alchymia replied:
I daresay Tonks might be a tad old for Harry, but I agree with you that Harry needs to pay attention to more than just physical beauty! I can say that Harry and Natalie will be meeting up again before the summer is out :).
Cheers,
Lady A
jakjakattk posted a comment on Tuesday 8th January 2008 12:25pm for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
OK, that was a great chapter. There was a lot of laughs and tones of lead to the rest of the story. Keep up the great work. Oh, and how about some of those snap shot of Cho on Harry’s tube. LOL
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thanks kindly, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Sadly, the photos of Cho in Harry's tub are locked deep in his treasure chest :).
Cheers,
Lady A
morriganscrow posted a comment on Friday 4th January 2008 7:10am for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
Lordy I HATE Cho/Harry!
The only thing that is stopping me throwing my lappy across the room is the sheer quality of your writing. That was an excellent chapter.
Elizabeth sounds like a total hoot, and if she gets to be with Remus, that leaves Tonks for Harry - once he gets his head out of Cho's mouth/arse.
Lady Alchymia replied:
LOL, sorry about Harry/Cho -- what can I say, not all girlfriends/boyfriends please your best friends, and that's kind of how (I think) readers receive Harry's romances. That he is like a close friend you can see making terrible decisions, and you just want to slap him out of it LoL.
Thank you very much for your compliments on my writing, they are much appreciated! I'm especially gratified that you are enjoying Elizabeth. There aren't many people reading the story (that I know about lol), and even fewer for the first time, so it's really valuable to me to hear feedback on her since her entry to the story is pretty different in V2 (she didn't get drunk the first time around :P).
Many thanks!
Lady A
DrT posted a comment on Friday 4th January 2008 5:41am for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
Well, maybe a cru Beaujolais would work with smoked trout, but I think it would taste tinny to me, but I see the appeal of that wine for the story.
I'm enjoying the rewrite a great deal
"T"
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi T,
I suspect that you and Julius Ramsay would get along just fine! LoL. (And you'd love his cellar!) The title of 'Saint Amour' was really handy for the scene, but, oddly enough, that part came after I had already decided to have Elizabeth drinking Beaujolais and eating smoked trout, having enjoyed the combination myself (and had someone tsk tsk me LoL). Then I was glancing through some estate listings for inspiration and 'Saint Amour' was just too good to pass up. Now, rest assured, I did cross check Saint Amour varieties from the nineties and found ones appropriate for Elizabeth's meal. But even so, naturally it's all in the palate of the individual taster.
I'm really pleased that you're enjoying the rewrite!
Thank you!
Lady A
Alice posted a comment on Thursday 3rd January 2008 10:06am for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
LOVED it! haha as always. I see you cut out the bowling match between Dumbledore and Hermione, which was fun but probably unnecessary. I liked the added scene with Elizabeth and Mr. Moon. ^^ A hint at her and Moony perhaps? anyhow.. just one little thing. you mentioned Harry being thrown that Frank referred to Cho as a swan twice.
"Has the swan gone?" sounded a voice from the desk.
Harry was confused for a moment, but then he remembered Cho’s Patronus.
and then later on...
"That’s enough from you," Harry said with a laugh. The swan reference threw him for a moment then he remembered Cho’s Patronus. He wondered if animals could sense other animal’s spirit guardians.
anyhow.. i'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter! I've read Awakenings several times and reading the new version is quite different in various subtle ways. =]
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi Alice,
Thank you very much for the swan pickup! I've just fixed it.
It never fails to blow me away to hear that people re-read my stories; thank you so much for that compliment :).
Yes, the bowling game, and a good many other things lol, got chopped, which is kind of sad but necessary. Potterfest is still plenty long (!) but I must admit that I do love playing games with Harry and his friends--such great material to work with.
Kind regards,
Lady A
Madelasha posted a comment on Thursday 3rd January 2008 8:04am for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
Yei!! God I love this story so much I'm actually waiting for the re-writing haha, I read v1 and thought it was awesome!! but yeah, I'm reading this as well so, I just you know, wanted to say that i love this very much and please finish it!! :D
Lady Alchymia replied:
That's really sweet of you to say; thank you very much!!
Lady A
PadyandMoony posted a comment on Thursday 3rd January 2008 6:40am for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
I was sad to see that whole flashback with Sirius scene go, because I had enjoyed it so much, but I really enjoyed this one with Elizabeth getting drunk with Mr.Moon. I also found it hilarious how she was being rebellious against her brother with the wine.
Great Work as always!
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi there,
Thank you very much! Elizabeth drunk was really fun to write; I'm delighted you enjoyed it!
A lot of the Sirius-related flashbacks (actually all of them, now that I think about it) have been cut in V2. When I wrote V1, I'd only read up to OOTP, so he was a character very much on my mind, and he was intriguing (to me) to explore in greater detail. I rather miss his flashbacks, too. When I originally wrote them, way back when, I had no idea about pacing, I just wrote what I felt like exploring. To be honest, I found writing a lot easier in general back then LoL. I've lost a lot of that spontaneity, of just writing wherever the characters take me. I've slowly learned that self-indulgent threads do not good writing make, but even so I'd like to recover some of that freedom because it's makes writing a lot more fun ;).
Many thanks!
Lady A
TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Tuesday 17th February 2009 11:49am for Chapter-9 — Sanctuary Surrendered
Lady Alchymia replied: