Awakenings
Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
By Lady Alchymia
Reviews
noylj posted a comment on Saturday 14th February 2009 2:25pm for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
OK:
No guy fixes quiche unless he is funny or his is doing it for his girlfriend/wife. Quiche? Gaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
Has Anyone now or ever going to have a "talk" to Snape about touching Harry? Does Snape always get away with everything? Does anyone think that MAYBE Poppy should look at Harry? Everyone wants to "protect" him but no one wants to take care of him...not even Remus.
Personally, I would have been out of the place and all over Snivelus before Harry had a chance to fly away.
Am I the only human being who wants to protect others and would not put up with an adult pushing a child anywhere, much less on the stairs? Am I the only person who thinks it is WRONG to kidnap a baby and then leave the baby on a doorstep in the middle of the night in November? Apparently, I am the only person who has read book 1 and was appalled from the very beginning with Bumbles. I am also the only person who seemed to be totally appalled at Snape being in a school and being protected by Bumbles and appalled that Bumbles would Never protect Harry from Snape. The only protection Bumbles ever did was to protect him from having a good life. Yet, I get in arguments all the time about how Snape was simply teaching a class where no one should fool around so he had to be tough and Bumbles was obviously very wise since Harry did survive being at the Dursleys. Do any of these people have children? Can any of them separate the way they seem to accept people being treated in the fantasy universe from how they would expect real people to treat others and see how wrong they are for accepting cruel abuse in the fantasy world?
I mean, if the Potterverso was in the 1100s, maybe some of the abuse would be understandable for the day, but not in any world of the 1990s.
Sorry, but I would like to see more stories where Snape and Bumbles have to face the consequences of their actions. In canon, only Harry ever seemed to face the consequences of his actions. In fact, he was often the only one to face the consequences of other's actions.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Quiche is just quiche; it was the next recipe in the cook book he found in the basement, and he had all the ingredients he needed to make. Simple decision.
Should Poppy look at Harry? I agree it would probably be a good idea, but Mad-Eye (an experienced war-veteran) assessed Harry's injuries and decided not. At that stage, Remus didn't even know Harry was injured. Next morning, he too, examined Harry's injuries and decided that they were what they were, bumps and bruises. If you got a black eye, would you want to be taken to the doctor? (I would probably take him, but I'm a an old fusspot.)
Is anyone going to talk to Snape about Harry. Why, yes, they are, now that you ask! But when Harry told Remus about his fall, he made it clear it was an accident, so why would *Remus* go and confront Snape? Accidents happen. Snape can be rightly pinned down for carelessness but he didn't intend for Harry to fall down the stairs.
I guess it comes down to the basics of literary conflict and a hero's journey. Would we feel anywhere near the same empathy for Harry if the Dursleys treated him well? Would we have anything to fear for him if all the supposedly good characters revolving around him did everything in the most perfect and 'keeping-Harry-protected' kind of way? Without all these 'good' characters to chastise for all the things they 'should have done' (or not done), then we are left only with Harry and a bunch of bad guys, which (in my opinion) isn't nearly so interesting to read about.
But I can understand the desire to make the good characters 'pay' for their choices. I feel that too!
Kind regards,
Lady Alchymia
brad posted a comment on Tuesday 10th June 2008 6:01pm for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
Enter the bookworms!! Good to see them so early, too. Cute idea having them eat themselves, 'desperate to know what the other worms found out on the last page'. Heh.
I was quite startled at your bringing Elizabeth in so early and in this more impersonal manner. Harry of course hasn't connected 'Madam Ramsay' with the 'Elizabeth' that Remus briefly mentioned back in chapter 1. Harry might be surprised at his reaction on seeing the envelope, but *we're* not, heh. :-)
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi Brad,
Bookworms rock LoL. Elizabeth's intro was very different! Hermione, bless her, is just so darned handy, sending Harry things she thinks he needs, like the Wolfsbane Potion recipe in Potioneers' Monthly (or whatever I called it lol). Good spotting on all those clues :).
Cheers,
Lady A
beauty01021 posted a comment on Thursday 11th October 2007 2:10pm for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
yeah great chapter.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thank you.
yentila22 posted a comment on Sunday 16th September 2007 6:47pm for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
I love what you are doing so far...
Please update soon!
Lady Alchymia replied:
I'm very glad to hear that!
Thanks :)
Lady A
sejones posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 2:33pm for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
I really like the way you introduced Elizabeth in this version. <spoiler removed> I'm sorry Harry won't be playing the piano, I really liked that bit, but this is your story, so go for it. Thanks for sharing. Sara
Lady Alchymia replied:
Sejones: "I really like the way you introduced Elizabeth in this version.
**
Hi Sara,
Thank you very much! I did think long and hard about Natalie, and if I was trying to edit Awakenings into a proper novel, then she’d be a prime character to get the chop, but right now she’s staying.
The way I originally plotted the story (not necessarily deliberately!) was anything but a traditional novel (where you'll have one major narrative thread propelling the action forward). The plot that I came up with for Harry’s summer, and his school year, was always a good deal more fractured than that, with plenty of tangents being explored simply for the joy of playing with Rowling’s characters. Now that I have a better understanding of what it was that I actually wrote, I see it more as a mosaic of character vignettes. My exploration of side characters like Frank Longbottom, Cho, Bill, Sirius (through Elizabeth’s memories), and others could (and will) be reduced, but to snip them completely (as one might if editing the story into a 120k word novel) kind of defeats the purpose of the original fic, which was to explore the HP world and try to find something interesting to say along the way.
So, in that sense, getting rid of Natalie served no particular purpose other than cutting word count because she contributes so much, even if she isn’t on-screen, to the storylines of canon characters (like Cho and Ron) as well as Elizabeth. Mind you, cutting word count is a very good thing, but I’m conscious of trying to keep the major plotlines of V2 in essence the same as V1, and Natalie is simply part of Harry’s summer and brings a necessary dynamic to the story.
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Sejones: "I'm sorry Harry won't be playing the piano, I really liked that bit, but this is your story, so go for it. Thanks for sharing. Sara"
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You’re welcome, Sara.
Unlike Natalie, Harry and the piano was never a primary driver for the narrative, so it was able to be cut without changing the plot very much. And, as you can guess, Harry won’t be getting his Mum’s musical memories. But I did really enjoy writing the musical bits. When book 2 is finished, I’ll be able to say more about what plot contribution the piano would have made in book 2, but suffice to say that I will find other ways of getting to the same plot point (so remember to ask me then
Cheers,
Lady A
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applesollie posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 2:19pm for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
Yes you left the tonks bit in....any more chappies yet?
Lady Alchymia replied:
I couldn't leave Tonks out :P. Chapter 4 is starting to look fairly together.
Cheers,
Lady A
Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 1:47pm for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
As much as I totally loved the first version, this version is awesome! I find the new way of Harry contacting Elizabeth much better in this version. <spoiler removed>
I look forward to reading more!
Lady Alchymia replied:
I'm really pleased you like it, thank you. It's very true that there's a lot of misdirection going on in that passage
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PadyandMoony posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 5:00am for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
I really liked the changes! The fight with Remus was a lot more intense than on V1. And Harry corresponding with Elizabeth not knowing who she is is perfect. I can just imagine Elizabeth reading it.
"Dear Madam Ramsay," Oh my. Such a formal young man!
Lady Alchymia replied:
PadyandMoony: "I really liked the changes! The fight with Remus was a lot more intense than on V1."
**
Thank you very much indeed! The fight--yeah, that was not a happy experience for either of them. I really enjoyed (should I admit this?) making their conflict a good deal more fraught. You know, I guess it's from me just being a Muggle, but when Harry originally stormed off to his bedroom (because he tried but couldn't get out of the house through the locked front door), I merely imagined him bouncing off the walls in his room, feeling imprisoned and impotent. When I got to the re-write, it suddenly occurred to me to remember that he had a broomstick!
Harry being devastated (which was pretty much as before) but then disappearing like that, plus smashing Sirius's guitar and forgetting his wand and so on, gave Remus an opportunity to really comprehend just how much he (Remus) had lost and how badly he had screwed up.
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PadyandMoony: "And Harry corresponding with Elizabeth not knowing who she is is perfect. I can just imagine Elizabeth reading it.
"Dear Madam Ramsay," Oh my. Such a formal young man!"
**
I must say, I did have fun writing those bits, knowing that everyone who was re-reading would know perfectly well what was going on, but that new readers (hopefully) wouldn't read too much into it other than realising that Madam Ramsay is obviously an OC who will have some kind of significance later on.
I haven't gotten as far as writing Elizabeth receiving Harry's letter yet, but I do like your suggested line
Many thanks for your feedback!
Lady A
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Tanydwr posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 4:37am for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
Good. I like the change in threat regarding Elizabeth Ramsay.
Oh, and it's Downing Street, not Dowling Street, where the Prime Minister lives. Usually referred to very officially and properly and occasionally mockingly as 'Number Ten, Downing Street', or casually as Number Ten.
Lol, Tanydwr
Lady Alchymia replied:
I'm glad you liked it :). And thanks for the tip!
Lady A
TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Monday 16th February 2009 1:09pm for Chapter 3 — Demons Awakening
Lady Alchymia replied: