Awakenings
Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
By Lady Alchymia
Reviews
brad posted a comment on Wednesday 11th June 2008 7:48pm for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
I don't remember version one being quite this ... risque. Heh. I think you've got it right, of course; Harry *is* a sixteen year old boy. The Snaparrazzi 630 seeking photographs of unclad Changs and bare Bones makes perfect sense ... :-). Harry's series of entanglements with Cho startled me a bit too, particularly when they found their way onto HIS BED!?!?!?! Crikey.
Loved the quidditch game - the R/Viktor jealousy, the resurrection of Bruce and return of THE HIVE (I'd forgotten that a hex on Bruce would result in a bevy of blowflies, clever), "the look on Hermione's face was priceless to Harry", his protectiveness of her and so forth.
I know I'm biased towards Hermione - you know this by now, right? - but it's so nice to see her portrayed as a young girl who has a light side, who can giggle and so forth. In this chapter, flying away "lurching from side to side". Good on you.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Brad: I don't remember version one being quite this ... risque. Heh. I think you've got it right, of course; Harry *is* a sixteen year old boy. The Snaparrazzi 630 seeking photographs of unclad Changs and bare Bones makes perfect sense ... :-). Harry's series of entanglements with Cho startled me a bit too, particularly when they found their way onto HIS BED!?!?!?! Crikey.
LA: I don't know about risqué lol, nothing much actually happens (Lupin sees to that). Maybe it's just me, but my memories of teen romance mostly involved couples constantly finding ways to get lateral, whether it be on the TV couch in full view of annoying siblings, on a blanket at the beach, or sneaking away to bedrooms (with anything too interesting inevitably interrupted by a mother's sudden desire to vacuum, accompanied by an archly delivered, 'Oh, don't let me interrupt you').
Brad: Loved the quidditch game - the R/Viktor jealousy, the resurrection of Bruce and return of THE HIVE (I'd forgotten that a hex on Bruce would result in a bevy of blowflies, clever), "the look on Hermione's face was priceless to Harry", his protectiveness of her and so forth."
LA: Excellent! Thanks :). I grew rather fond of Bruce, so that was fun to keep in V2.
Brad: I know I'm biased towards Hermione - you know this by now, right? [LA: bias? what bias?] - but it's so nice to see her portrayed as a young girl who has a light side, who can giggle and so forth. In this chapter, flying away "lurching from side to side". Good on you.
LA: I did love writing such fun things for Hermione. You'll discover shortly that Hermione's bowling scene went, which was great fun to write, but complete filler. Since that went, I just couldn't also cut the 'Battle for Hermione' between our Quidditch boys.
Cheers :)
Lady A
Candyman posted a comment on Monday 9th June 2008 2:46am for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
It seems to me that Harry's relationship with cho seems to be bordering on extreme obsession. I don't know, but this seems like the effect that would occur by the result of a love potion of some sort.
It just seems that Harry is slightly over obsessed over a girl who's best friend totally screwed him over...
You probably should have gone slower with the relationship, right now, one day, harry doesn't even think about her, and the next, he is rabidly fanboyish
Anyway, apart from that I like the story :P
Lady Alchymia replied:
Is Harry under a love potion at the party? I'm afraid to say he is not.
I think we saw in HBP how Harry can be oblivious to a girl one day and then WHAM be monster-in-the-chest obsessed the next. And I think this is more or less realistic for teenage romance. Not a lot of cool and calm thoughts running through young heads when it comes to crushes.
As for *Cho* being the object of his crush ... I know readers feel passionately angry with Marietta, and with Cho for defending her, but Harry (even in canon) never exhibited any lingering hatred for Cho. As much as readers might have relished seeing him leap from his seat in the train at the end of OOTP and hex Cho to Hades, the reality is that he wasn't feeling a lot one way or another. Naturally, I messed with his head by having them intersect in Diagon Alley a few weeks later, and gave them an opportunity to make peace, and for Cho to try to flirt with him. After that, it's just about reviving a crush that consumed Harry's romantic thoughts for two long years. If that meeting hadn't happened, he would have not given her any more thought. So it's all about what circumstances I placed him in. For telling a story about jealousy, there wasn't any other canon girl I considered as anywhere near as good an option for Harry to be so 'instantly' jealous over, since he had already been attracted to Cho and had been plenty jealous over her and Cedric.
Thank you for your feedback; I'm glad you're enjoying the rest of the story.
Lady A
Tanydwr posted a comment on Thursday 27th December 2007 4:37am for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
Wow.
Hey, is Megaera one of the Furies/Erinyes? That's one of the names of three of them (others are Alecto and Tisiphone). Description works too. In which case, why is it clawing into Harry? Does it feel Harry needs to now avenge the murder of his parents? It would work...
Great as usual. And Harry's jealousy... interesting. Not healthy though. Can't help sensing H/C is going to be somewhat shortlived. I hope.
Keep up the good work.
Lol, Tanydwr
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi there,
Thank you very much indeed for your kind compliments!
Excellent deductions!! Yes, Megaera is one of the Erinyes; you are spot on! And Harry definitely has not seen the last of her :D.
You are right; Harry's jealousy is not at all healthy, and he'll have a chance to figure that out for himself sooner rather than later!
Cheers!
Lady A
morriganscrow posted a comment on Sunday 23rd December 2007 5:39pm for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
Excellent!
What the magically gifted mind (and heart) can bring into the world if not controlled....
Lady Alchymia replied:
You are the only person, ever, who has got that. LOL THANK YOU!!!!
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Sunday 23rd December 2007 11:26am for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
Nice part here, and always enjoy the level of detail that you put into your writings, and that last part there, positively creepy the way things happened to Harry.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Dead creepy lol, thanks very much indeed!
Cheers!
Lady A
PadyandMoony posted a comment on Sunday 23rd December 2007 4:41am for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
Good chapter. I liked the changes.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Glad to hear it :). Thanks!
Lady A
beauty01021 posted a comment on Saturday 22nd December 2007 11:58pm for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
yeah great chaptr can't wait for more so please update again and soon.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thank you.
Lady A
wana10 posted a comment on Saturday 22nd December 2007 8:36pm for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
uh oh harry! your little green horns are showing...interesting having harry dream of a greek goddess as a demon though, especially a gorgon. guess it fits though, what with frank being a new addition to his life. snakes, jealousy, cho, george...harry has some problems. also, i really dislike cho's character in this. nothing against your writing, your writing is great in that it's more of a creeping dislike. as a reader i'm wanting to reach into this potter world and bop him on the head, "wake up potter!" sure george is being a tool and going after a supposedly taken woman but cho really isn't saying no. it makes me wonder though, were cho to come right out and tell george she was with harry, would george back off? thus far i would have to say no, because this george is rather smarmy, but deep down i hope it comes to a head, either to save cho's character from the precipice of cheating bitch or to push harry into the better-for-him arms of 'spoiler character'.
keep up the great work!
-wana10
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi there,
I sympathise with the desire to give the boy a good shake LoL.
Now, I wouldn't be too hard on George. The first time (in this chapter) when we see him flirting with Cho, he genuinely didn't actually know Harry and Cho were back together. Harry and Cho got together 'off his radar' on the rooftop, and when they did come back down to the party, half the crowd (including the twins) had moved over to the poolroom to play more games. George didn't know where Cho was. And then the next morning, George and Fred went to work early in the morning, not returning until that moment in the poolroom. Now, as for why Cho might let George flirt with her ... well, she wasn't really thinking too much about it, she's used to guys trying to flirt with her and ask her out. She wasn't actually standing there very long with him, and if he'd tried to suggest anything, she would have said no, and when Harry came over, she made it clear who her choice was.
Poor George, meanwhile, (from his perspective) has just realised he's lost out to Harry, whom he genuinely thought (based on what Ginny told him) didn't care about Cho any more, not to mention that only a few days before, George had seen Harry out on a date with Natalie. George is really feeling very vexed in the poolroom then because he had raced back from work to rejoin the party only to discover that his grand plans to win Cho had been thwarted. So, at the end of the Quidditch match, he can't help but indulge in a little 'hex between friends'.
And after Cho sided with Harry by dropping the snitch down George's back when he tried to hug her after the game, he wasn't above letting her think he was Fred when they were dancing later that evening. Harry isn't the only one who gets to be immature lol.
Cheers,
Lady A
TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Tuesday 17th February 2009 10:20am for Chapter 8 — Green-Eyed Monsters
Lady Alchymia replied: