By Lady Alchymia
Reviews
PadyandMoony posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 5:25am
Good work. Moving some of the explanation about the salts here was a good idea.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thanks kindly! The salts was certainly a big area that needed to be cut down a lot.
Cheers,
Lady A
morriganscrow posted a comment on Sunday 3rd February 2008 3:08am
Lovely one, oh Cliffymeister!
Wet, naked Harry + Bella = WooT!!
Lady Alchymia replied:
LoL, I don't think Harry will be up to doing anything too WooT-worthy.
Cheers,
Lady A
Patches posted a comment on Saturday 2nd February 2008 1:10am
That was a really interesting time for Harry, Hermione and Remus. I'm glad they talked about Harry's dreams but they didn't help him much. Of course Remus will try to keep Harry safe no matter what but he can be a little overbearing. Poor Madeye had a rough time with all those teenagers but he survived. Poor Elizabeth. She has had a really bad time. I Think Remus is remembering her splinching herself. It must be something she has done in the past. Thanks so much for writing. I look forward to the next chapter. pms
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thanks kindly. I think Harry would agree with you about getting a wee bit more help with his dream! And I'm glad you're feeling for Mad-Eye! Poor old sot. Good thinking about Remus ...
Cheers!
Lady A
applesollie posted a comment on Friday 1st February 2008 9:02pm
On one hand I'm glad to see an update. But know what may happen next chapter I is a little scared Lady.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Scared is good :).
Cheers!
Lady A
The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Friday 1st February 2008 8:25pm
You know...I hated this cliffhanger just as much the first time around!
It is nice to see you updating of often so I guess I can make do until the next Chapter. :)
Lady Alchymia replied:
LOL
Cheers!
Lady A
Aelita posted a comment on Friday 1st February 2008 3:57pm
Please update this soon! This was so good and I know you just updated but I loved the cliff hanger at the end and I can't wait to find out what happens! Thank you so much for a great story!
Lady Alchymia replied:
Many thanks, Aelita :). I'm glad you're enjoying the story!
Lady A
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Friday 1st February 2008 10:03am
Great to see this next part, Elizabeth and Evil are two of the funnest OC's in the HP universe that I've read before, and makes me wish that somebody like that had been there for Remus in canon(not to say I don't like Tonks, it just never gelled for me with those two). Can't wait to see more of Black Island, one of the more fascinating places created as well, and Mirabella, she's about as sweet as a female as Harry could find, too bad she's an artificial life. Still, that last moment there, with Harry and he seeing those eyes, just spooky.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Gosh, thanks for those compliments :). I liked Tonks in OOTP, but I have to admit that I wasn't so keen on her relationship with Harry in HBP. I'm trying to recall, did we actually see her in DH? Maybe the Seven Potters' chapter? In any case, she and Lupin produced a really cute baby, so I have to love them both for that :).
You'll definitely be seeing a lot more of Black Island during the rest of summer, thanks! And more of Mirabella, too.
Hope you enjoy the next chapter :).
Lady A
Madelasha posted a comment on Friday 1st February 2008 10:02am
Hi! Great Chapter!! I love Elizabeth! She's such a good character. I'm glad that we get to see more of her now than we did on V1.
I also like the way Remus and Harry get along, they seem comfortable and at ease. Well done!
Update soon? :D
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hello,
Thanks kindly! I'm delighted you like Elizabeth. I really loved Lupin and Harry in Prisoner of Azkaban; I guess Lupin was the first adult Harry could go to for help about the smaller things in life (which in Harry's case, of course, is defeating dark memories with a good deal of chocolate), and I loved him for that. It would have been nice to see them develop a closer relationship in canon, but I guess that makes a bit of room for wee stories like mine.
Cheers!
Lady A
PadyandMoony posted a comment on Friday 1st February 2008 8:49am
Great chapter. Moving Harry's and Remus conversation about Voldemort here instead of in the roof was a good idea. I missed Elizabeth doing that whole feather thing with Petunia but I guess it flows better this way. I hope you still have Remus wanting to give the Dursleys a piece of his mind.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi there,
Thank you very much indeed. I'm so impressed you know so much about what's moved or been cut! The feather of conscience was satisfying to write, thank you. As you know a whole bunch of threads concerning Elizabeth were cut, including a some flashbacks, too.
Cheers,
Lady A
Patches posted a comment on Wednesday 30th January 2008 2:11am
This was a great chapter. I love the age lessening potion and the age line! What a great prank to pull on the adults. Especially the ones over 150! That was quite a dramatic change for them. I'm glad Minnie finally got a sense of humor over the whole thing. That was great. It is too bad that Harry hasn't figured out how he really is starting to feel about Susan. I have hopes that he will see the light soon! Thanks for writing. I missed Frank this chapter. He had great commentary. I look forward to the rest of this story. pms
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thank you very much! Cant' let the kids have all the fun, now can we? I loved having Minerva let her hair down. I remembered from -- book 1 maybe -- when she got a wee bit tipsy at a feast and giggled and blushed when Hagrid kissed her cheek, so I decided to let her get just a little bit lubricated and see where it went. I did really love writing the exchanges between her and Elphias. I was so chuffed in Deathly Hallows when Doge really did turn out to be a schoolboy friend of Dumbledore's (I wrote those scenes way before HBP came out), and I loved having him be utterly disinterested in the real teenage girls, and have this fluffy backstory of having had a crush on normal-age McGonagall ever since she joined the Order. Harry and Susan are starting to get to know each other better, which is a good first step in any friendship. Frank gets a wee bit of action in the next chapter :); I'm really pleased you are enjoying him.
Thanks kindly!
Lady A
morriganscrow posted a comment on Sunday 27th January 2008 5:35am
Your Harry is a perfect characterization of a 16 year old boy - and clearly reminds me why I disliked them at that age.
All your characters are finely drawn, with distinct, appropriate personalities.
You are a skillful writer. Well done!
Lady Alchymia replied:
Wow, thanks!! I'm utterly chuffed you feel that way about Harry in Awakenings.
I've a very strong fix on how I received Rowling's Harry, but I know there are millions of other Harrys out there, all subtly different depending upon reader interpretations. Would Rowling's Harry have broken down if he had to go to gloomy number 12 just a few weeks after Sirius's death? Would he have gotten close to Lupin had the opportunity presented itself? Would he have ever given Cho a second chance? We'll never know, of course. But it's vital to me that however strange the scenario I dump him in he still behaves like a normal, excitable, annoying, frustrating, self-absorbed, creative, passionate teenaged boy.
Thank you so much for your most generous compliments; they are very much appreciated! And for reviewing each chapter, too; I do feel good to know a few people are reading my tale :).
Lady A
3X82 posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 7:59pm
Loved V1, and am so far loving V2. Just please tell me you won't stop V2 where you did V1, the missus and I want to know if Harry and Susan ever get together <G>
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi there, Mister and Missus,
I definitely won't stop V2 where I stopped V1.
I have big plans for the school year, and I'm keen to get back to there too :).
I'm really pleased you're enjoying both versions, thank you!
Lady A
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 6:49pm
Again, a nice part, and fun to see Harry get to act like a teenager, a lot more than he seemed to at times, as well as the Cho opening up a can on him scene, still chuckle at that, along with Dumbledore's nose. I guess that makes it worse as for what is coming up for poor Harry soon.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thank you, Wonderbee :). I'm loving writing Harry the teen--such rich fodder for embarassment and mortification, but yes, the party's over ;).
Cheers!
Lady A
PadyandMoony posted a comment on Friday 25th January 2008 6:33pm
"Ankle-Biting Battalions"
When I saw this I couldn't help but remember the House-elves attacking in Book 7 led by Kreacher. So good.
I really liked how you changed things and cleaned up this chapter. I was specially happy to see you kept the scene with Harry sleeping on the ground with Remus. It was always one of my favorites.
Great Work!
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thank you most kindly!
I'm really pleased you're enjoying the edits, thanks! I was fond of that drawing-room floor moment, too. Luckily, that scene with the discussion of Harry's security was plot critical, so it was never at risk of being cut, though (as you'd be aware) it did get trimmed a fair bit(!).
As for the Ankle-Biting Battalions ... the Deathly Hallows house-elves were most inspirational, yes, but I must also admit to having a wee smile thinking of what happens to Harry in chapter one of Psychomachia :).
Cheers!
Lady A
oso983 posted a comment on Sunday 20th January 2008 6:44am
Wow. Can't wait for the next chapter! Please, update quickly or I will have to read the old version. And then everything will get mixed ;).
Good job!
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hi there, and welcome!
No, no, no, don't read V1! You will get muddled, and there are some big things coming up you won't want to be spoilered. I'm pleased to say that the next few chapters are nearly ready to post, so it shouldn't be too long.
I'm really pleased to hear that you're enjoying the story :).
Cheers!
Lady A
impliedauthor posted a comment on Saturday 19th January 2008 5:25pm
Hmmm.. I like this version better in some ways. But I did like the other chapter where Harry told Dumbledore off for ruining his happy birthday party like that.
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thank you kindly, Tinkerbell :). I must admit, I rather like it when Harry gets cross, too, so it was a bit of a shame to lose that exchange.
Cheers,
Lady A
morriganscrow posted a comment on Wednesday 16th January 2008 3:47pm
You write an excellent Quidditch game, m'dear!
The flashback was appropriate, the party was fun and the teeny bit of anti-Cho was appreciated!
All round entertaining chapter leaving me keen to read more.
Lady Alchymia replied:
I appreciate your compliments, thank you so much! I'm pleased to say that the next chapter should be going up quite soon. I hope you enjoy it!
Kind regards,
Lady Alchymia
Patches posted a comment on Tuesday 15th January 2008 10:10pm
That was excellent. The Quidditch game was really good. I'm so glad you had Gryfindor win and still allowed Victor to catch the snitch. That was really something. The thing with Cho will work itself out. Harry would be much better off with Susan. Frank would like it I'm sure! I can't believe that Dumbledore let out as much as he did to so many people. That was terrible. But now Harry is sharing the prophesy with Ron and Hermione. I'm sure he would never tell Cho. This is very well done. Thanks so much for writing. pms
Lady Alchymia replied:
Hello,
I'm delighted you enjoyed the Quidditch, thank you kindly! I really didn't want to have Harry (at just 16 and with only one real Quidditch game under his belt in the previous two years (he didn't play during book 4 and played only once during book 5)) come out and outplay Viktor Krum, and yet I did want to explore the way strong captaincy (from Oliver), keeping faith with your captain and game strategy, and working together as a champion team can produce results even against a team of champion players.
Viktor is the best Seeker in the world, but (in my story) he isn't a particularly effective captain. He chose a very inexperienced Keeper because he had a grudge against Ron about the Hive (and he had also been growing jealous of Ron, who has been seen staring at Hermione too much for Viktor's liking). Viktor also underestimated his opposition, and he kept changing strategy mid-game whilst basically ignoring the game (as Seekers do). With the benefit of having a professional captain (Gwenog Jones) on his side, he might have done better to defer to her judgement. As it was, Gwenog, quite responsibly, followed all of Viktor's orders without question and tried to make herself as useful as possible. In the end, Viktor decided to settle for a draw and would have got a draw if Alicia hadn't made that last-second goal against--yep!--the exhausted, inexperienced Keeper Padma Patil. And so that horrible emotion jealousy (and a dose of pride) claims Viktor as another of the Potterfest weekend's victim ;P.
As for Cho and Harry and Susan and Frank .... I like your thinking lol.
Dumbledore certainly never says something without a reason, and he's never before (in canon) created an opportunity for himself to address such a sweeping assembly of allies of all generations. The feast wasn't his idea, but he grabbed the opportunity anyway to impose his agenda on what should have been a pleasant, social event. He knew that everyone in the room would be aware that the papers were calling Harry the Chosen One, and they all (to varying degrees) would be suspecting something big ahead, so he chose to play to that mystery and confirm that Harry was special, and that, when the time came, Harry would need their support. He could have expressed himself in more vague terms, just calling on everyone to pull together rather than single Harry out, but he wasn't in the Great Hall, and everyone present had been hand-picked as an ally, so he elected to go that step further. And this really was quite presumptuous of him because he wasn't the host of the event, he was merely another guest at Remus and Harry's table, so, I agree with you that it wasn’t terribly good form (and neither Harry nor Remus was too impressed either!).
I hope you enjoy what happens next with the prophecy and Cho and all the rest of the gang! And thanks for sharing your feedback; it's most appreciated :).
Lady Alchymia
Patches posted a comment on Tuesday 15th January 2008 9:07pm
A very good eye opener for Harry about girls. Especially Cho. Jealousy is a terrible emotion. It can kill love and I think Harry is starting to see that. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. pms
Lady Alchymia replied:
Thank you very much indeed! I'm glad we see jealousy the same way LoL.
Jo Rowling does seem to send out some strong and sometimes conflicting messages above love, going to pains to point out that you can't drug someone into loving you, and she also makes very strict distinctions in the qualities of higher love. For example, she distinguishes between James giving his life for his family (as a reflexive, animalistic response -- something any animal would do for its young), whereas Lily's sacrifice was true love. I'm not sure I buy that distinction (and I suspect that Jo doesn't really either); she's even so much as admitted in interviews that Lily's choice was just as much a biological imperative as James' (she says now that she doesn’t believe any mother would choose to stand aside). And yet it is a very crucial distinction for her to cling to for her plot to work (to avoid the natural challenge from readers saying that every selfless sacrifice should deflect a killing curse).
I seem to have gotten off the point LOL ...
When I originally dreamed up a HP plot featuring jealousy as having dark consequences, I'd only read the first five books, and so I'd only seen Rowling depicting jealousy in a negative way, and I (rather foolishly as it turned out lol) extrapolated on that idea, not realising that Rowling was just teasing me, that she would go on to actually wholeheartedly endorse ongoing jealousy as a normal way of conducting a happy-ending romance. Anyway, in choosing Cho, I was looking for a girl for Harry with whom he could fall in love hard and fast over the course of just one weekend, and that she could feel just as strongly in return. Despite readers not liking Cho, with all Cho and Harry's backstory, she fit the bill perfectly for the story I wanted to tell. As for where the story is going (you probably already know lol), but I hope you’ll enjoy the ride anyway :).
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Lady A
Tumshie posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 5:56am
Lady Alchymia replied: