morriganscrow posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 9:30am

Lovely!
Bruce the Blowie was perfect, as was the rest of the chapter.
I particularly liked Harry being attracted to a number of girls, rather than his One Twu Wuv at such an improbable age.
Keep up the fine job.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Many thanks for your compliments :).

Bruce the Blowie is great fun to write, and you'll be seeing more of him in some upcoming chapters!

As for Harry being attracted to a number of girls -- rather than one true love -- absolutely!   I think more than anything it's the idea of love that is so seductive at 16.   It solves all problems, it heals all wounds, it validates you as a sexual being, it makes the world shine, yada yada yada.   It's all very real in the moment, but so easily dissolves into nothingness again.   Quite the rollercoaster.   In the next chapter, we'll be seeing Harry get on board for a most destructive ride :).

Hope you enjoy it!

Lady A

PadyandMoony posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 5:11am

I really liked the changes. Especially the whole comparing Elizabeth to Remus thing. It's nice to see Harry understanding she was part of the group before he met her.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thanks kindly!   The way Elizabeth enters the story is feeling a lot more satisfying to me, too.   I love messing with characters' heads -- playing things out with each knowing different things and thinking (incorrcetly) that they understand what's going on.

Cheers!

Lady A

wana10 posted a comment on Wednesday 24th October 2007 3:44pm

as i started reading through this i was hit with the strongest feeling of deja vu, as though i had read this story before. then i realized this was titles v2 and i had read it before. was bummed to not get to the birthday scene, the frank sinatra singing snake (i believe he was named frank as well?) was a great character. i do remember in v1 harry starts a relationship with another character before <spoiler removed> ...hopefully this time around he comes to his senses more quickly! can't wait for more.
-wana10

Lady Alchymia replied:

Hi there,

Potterfest is not at risk lol.   I hope you enjoy the rest!

Thanks,

Lady A

hga posted a comment on Friday 12th October 2007 2:57pm

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

(^_^ Had to say that, but the Lady and I discussed this and I agreed that that aspect of V1 was OK.)

I had to force myself through the previous chapters simply because I wasn't right now in the mood for post-OotP angst, but I knew the payoff would be worth it, and I was right.

And while the memory of V1 is a bit distant, I can see lots of places where V2 has substantially improved upon it. It's also very encouraging to see an author dedicated enough to the art that she does a serious edit on an older work in addition to improving with entirely new writing. I suspect there's a lot to be gained by doing at least one serious edit effort, and I'm particularly pleased to see a very good story become excellent.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Hi there, Harold :),

They're lovely sentiments, thank you.   The only reason I started posting on the Internet  was in an effort to write better, and however vexing my preoccupation with practicing on first draft material, it really did work.   I'm still firmly in the novice-writer category, but  my writing, now, is so much better than when I started.   Bit of a catch-22, really.    I'm now at the point where I can write fairly decent original stories--I  might even try to publish something someday--but I would never have got there without hundreds of people letting me know, in excruciating detail,  how crap I was.   Thanks for being one of them :).

Lady A

beauty01021 posted a comment on Thursday 11th October 2007 2:12pm

yeah great chapter can't wait for more so please update again and soon.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you.

beauty01021 posted a comment on Thursday 11th October 2007 2:11pm

yeah great chapter.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you.

beauty01021 posted a comment on Thursday 11th October 2007 2:10pm

yeah great chapter.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you.

fountaam posted a comment on Friday 5th October 2007 11:05pm

:)

For a minute there I thought PotterFest was going to disappear.

I think I'm enjoying this story more, because I'm hunting for the changes.

:)

Lady Alchymia replied:

Hi there,

Potterfest is safe LoL.   I'm really pleased you're still enjoying the story; thank you very much!

Lady A

Meg posted a comment on Friday 5th October 2007 7:18pm

You had me giggling through out most of this chapter. :)

I'm really enjoying this all over again! From what I vaguely remember from V1, it's flowing a lot better from scene to scene. Rather than feeling the need to take a break between sections, you're sucking me into what's going on, making it very vivid. I could really feel those panty racks closing in on me! LOL

Thanks much for the latest chapter. I'm looking forward to the next.

Meg

Lady Alchymia replied:

Hi Meg,

Thank you very much!   I appreciate your comments.   I've grown quite fascinated with editing for flow in the last year.   I'm slowly getting the hang of it, and I've certainly got plenty of text to practice on :P.  

I'm glad the scene felt vivid, though I should probably apologise for feeling happy that you felt the  racks chasing you LoL.

Cheers!

Lady A

applesollie posted a comment on Friday 5th October 2007 5:32pm

Lovely as always my Lady.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you very much :)

Lady A

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Friday 5th October 2007 4:46pm

Great chapter! Totally loved the way you worked Susan in sooner than before. Hopefully we will be spared the hormonally charged non relationship that <spoiler removed>... I mean, how shallow can you get? But of course Harry is a teenaged boy and there are wild oats and all that. Hope to see him and susan get together.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you :).   I'm glad you liked the changes.   As for teenage boys ... I don't know about oats LoL, but, yes,  hormones will be hormones.

Cheers!

Lady A

PadyandMoony posted a comment on Friday 5th October 2007 7:09am

Great chapter! I liked the changes though with this changes in <spoiler removed> I can't see him and <spolier removed> getting together.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you kindly :).   I wouldn't underesimate Harry's ability to not see what's whacking him in the head :P.

Lady A

applesollie posted a comment on Thursday 27th September 2007 11:31pm

I am so glad the Black house blitz still exists, now all is needed is the Castle and all will be right in the new version.

Lady Alchymia replied:

LoL, excellent!

Cheers,

Lady A

Infin1x posted a comment on Monday 24th September 2007 3:49pm

While I am not sure if it is a good thing or not you have perfectly captured the broody angsty Harry that made me want to burn the last couple of books.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Er .... okay lol.   I throw completely different stimuli at him, of course, but I like to think that Harry in Awakenings has some affinity with the real HP, so I'll take that as a good thing ;).

Cheers,

Lady A

beauty01021 posted a comment on Sunday 23rd September 2007 4:45pm

yeah great chapter can't wait for more so please update again and soon.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you.

PadyandMoony posted a comment on Sunday 23rd September 2007 4:41am

This time the changes weren't as evident as the three first chapters but I liked that you kept most of this chapter intact.
And I think the changes worked, I especially liked the two photo scenes. The talk with Remus about the war was good.
Good work!

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you!   I'm glad you  didn't feel the changes very much.   There were actually a lot of them lol, but I'm glad they weren't too noticeable.   That indicates that the heart of the story is still hanging in there :)  .

The photo scenes were interesting to write because it helped focus Harry on looking forward (with Remus) rather than back (with his parents and Sirius) for a source of strength.   I'm pleased you liked Harry and Remus's interactions :).

Kindly,

Lady A

Memory King posted a comment on Sunday 23rd September 2007 4:00am

Excellent work!

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you very much.

Lady A

yentila22 posted a comment on Sunday 16th September 2007 6:47pm

I love what you are doing so far...
Please update soon!

Lady Alchymia replied:

I'm very glad to hear that!

Thanks :)

Lady A

sejones posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 2:33pm

I really like the way you introduced Elizabeth in this version. <spoiler removed> I'm sorry Harry won't be playing the piano, I really liked that bit, but this is your story, so go for it. Thanks for sharing. Sara

Lady Alchymia replied:

Sejones: "I really like the way you introduced Elizabeth in this version.

**
Hi Sara,

Thank you very much! I did think long and hard about Natalie, and if I was trying to edit Awakenings into a proper novel, then she’d be a prime character to get the chop, but right now she’s staying.

The way I originally plotted the story (not necessarily deliberately!) was anything but a traditional novel (where you'll have one major narrative thread propelling the action forward). The plot that I came up with for Harry’s summer, and his school year, was always a good deal more fractured than that, with plenty of tangents being explored simply for the joy of playing with Rowling’s characters. Now that I have a better understanding of what it was that I actually wrote, I see it more as a mosaic of character vignettes. My exploration of side characters like Frank Longbottom, Cho, Bill, Sirius (through Elizabeth’s memories), and others could (and will) be reduced, but to snip them completely (as one might if editing the story into a 120k word novel) kind of defeats the purpose of the original fic, which was to explore the HP world and try to find something interesting to say along the way.

So, in that sense, getting rid of Natalie served no particular purpose other than cutting word count because she contributes so much, even if she isn’t on-screen, to the storylines of canon characters (like Cho and Ron) as well as Elizabeth. Mind you, cutting word count is a very good thing, but I’m conscious of trying to keep the major plotlines of V2 in essence the same as V1, and Natalie is simply part of Harry’s summer and brings a necessary dynamic to the story.
**

Sejones: "I'm sorry Harry won't be playing the piano, I really liked that bit, but this is your story, so go for it. Thanks for sharing. Sara"

**
You’re welcome, Sara .

Unlike Natalie, Harry and the piano was never a primary driver for the narrative, so it was able to be cut without changing the plot very much. And, as you can guess, Harry won’t be getting his Mum’s musical memories. But I did really enjoy writing the musical bits. When book 2 is finished, I’ll be able to say more about what plot contribution the piano would have made in book 2, but suffice to say that I will find other ways of getting to the same plot point (so remember to ask me then ).

Cheers,
Lady A
**

applesollie posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 2:19pm

Yes you left the tonks bit in....any more chappies yet?

Lady Alchymia replied:

I couldn't leave Tonks out :P.   Chapter 4 is starting to look fairly together.

Cheers,

Lady A